Characteristics Of Healthy Families

Several years ago an educator and family specialist conducted an extensive survey in which more than 500 professionals who work with families were asked to comment on the traits they observed in “healthy” families. Interestingly, among the most common traits listed were things long ago recommended by the Bible.


Good communication practices topped the list, including effective methods of reconciling differences. A common policy found in healthy families is that “nobody goes to bed angry at another,” noted the author of the survey. Yet, over 1,900 years ago, the Bible advised: “Be wrathful, and yet do not sin; let the sun not set with you in a provoked state.” In Bible times the days were reckoned from sundown to sundown.


So, long before modern experts studied families, the Bible wisely advised: Settle divisive matters quickly-before the day ends and another begins.

Healthy families “don’t bring up potentially explosive subjects night before they go out or before bedtime,” the author found. “Over and over I heard the phrase ‘the right time.”7 Such families unwittingly echoed the Bible proverb recorded over 2,700 years ago: “As apples of gold in silver carvings is a word spoken at the right time for it.” This simile may allude to golden ornaments in the shape of apples placed on engraved silver trays—prized and beautiful possessions in Bible times. It conveys the beauty and value of words uttered at the appropriate time. In stressful circumstances, the right words said at the right time are priceless.


The Bible’s advice on marriage is as relevant today as it was when the Bible was written. When husband and wife treat each other with love and respect and view marriage as an exclusive relationship, the marriage is more likely to survive-and with it the family.